Dirk: > Introduce your adopted son.

[sickheartbeats]

[You have recently PICKED UP A COMPANION, involuntarily at first but then eventually saving its life, and it is now YOURS FOREVER, as soon as you've convinced your room-mate that pets are not for dinner.

You return home with the duckling on your shoulder and head straight for the kitchen, intending to prepare a decent replacement meal to HELP BRING YOUR POINT ACROSS.]

Comments

[sickheartbeats]

But I'll bet they're kickass bath tub company.
I'll be testing that theory after dinner.

[fightingcargos]

Rubber duckies dont crap in bathwater you know.
Do you want a rubber ducky?

[sickheartbeats]

No, Jake.

[fightingcargos]

You want a duck.

[sickheartbeats]

This duck wanted me.
I'm being a decent human being and giving it the chance to show me why I should love it like my own.

[fightingcargos]

...
Okay?
Its your duck.

[sickheartbeats]

Thanks.
I promise you'll still be my number one.

[fightingcargos]

Haha wow.
Its so tiny!!
Look at its feet. Will it ever grow into those?

[sickheartbeats]

They usually do.

[fightingcargos]

This one looks particularly awkward though.
Hello dirks duck!
Duck of dirk. Dirk ducken.

[sickheartbeats]

Wow.
Dare you to say that five times in fast succession.

[fightingcargos]

Dirks duck dirks duck durks duck dirk duck dicks dirk duck
Wait
Dirks duck dirks dick dirks duck dirks duck dirks DUCK! There!!

[sickheartbeats]

Hahahaha.

[You refrain from pointing out that he MESSED UP AGAIN. No display of such derpiness should inspire fondness in you, but it's a strange world.]

[fightingcargos]

[You poke the duckling. It quacks, miffed.]

Dirks duck.

[sickheartbeats]

Face facts.
You like it.
It's cute.

[fightingcargos]

Its tiny!
And awkward. And i think it likes you a whole lot.
I am inclined to think well of it i guess.

[sickheartbeats]

Don't make me skip dinner to get on that bath.

[fightingcargos]

Trust me dirk you are still one hundred percent on dinner duty.
Dirks duck dinner duty.

[sickheartbeats]

I'm getting on it.
Any special dessert requests?

[fightingcargos]

What havent you tried?

[You poke the duck again. You have to admit that it is PRETTY CUTE.]

[sickheartbeats]

Would I know if I had never tried it?

[You begin to throw stuff together for STRIDER STYLE FRIED RICE, extra sticky.]

[fightingcargos]

I thought you had a list or something!
You seem like a guy who would have a list.

[sickheartbeats]

I have a bunch of lists, but I'm not that huge on sweet stuff.
I asked in case you wanted anything in particular.

[fightingcargos]

Not really.
We must have cookies or something in the cupboard right?
What is the duck going to eat? Watercress?

[sickheartbeats]

I was gonna go with oatmeal.
Guess we can just see which he goes for.

[fightingcargos]

Neat.