Dirk: > Introduce your adopted son.
Dec. 20th, 2012 12:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sickheartbeats[You have recently PICKED UP A COMPANION, involuntarily at first but then eventually saving its life, and it is now YOURS FOREVER, as soon as you've convinced your room-mate that pets are not for dinner.
You return home with the duckling on your shoulder and head straight for the kitchen, intending to prepare a decent replacement meal to HELP BRING YOUR POINT ACROSS.]
You return home with the duckling on your shoulder and head straight for the kitchen, intending to prepare a decent replacement meal to HELP BRING YOUR POINT ACROSS.]
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:05 am (UTC)It followed me home, Jake.
Can I keep it?
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:10 am (UTC)I mean there isnt much meat on there so we will have to fatten it up anyway.
[You get up and examine the duckling. Man it sure is small!]
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:13 am (UTC)Not now and not when it's nice and plump either.
This is the most determined stalker you will ever meet.
You'd serve that kind of unrivaled devotion with some orange sauce and gravy?
Might as well have me for dinner.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:14 am (UTC)Dirk do you want to keep it as a pet?
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:16 am (UTC)[You pick up the duckling and let it walk in the sink. You're pressed not to admit it has the cutest waddle ever.]
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:18 am (UTC)But.
But dirk its a DUCK.
Can ducks even be housebroken?
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:21 am (UTC)The full responsibility program.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:22 am (UTC)But its a duck.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:26 am (UTC)I'm glad you possess a basic understanding of non-lethal wildlife.
Let's just have some stuffed mini pumpkins for dinner, ok.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:28 am (UTC)[It is a DUCK. It is a baby duck, to be precise. It is too tiny to taste good, and is therefore BORING. You stare anyway.]
Have you named it?
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:31 am (UTC)There's an obviously more dire need for personal attachment between the two of you to keep you from wanting to roast him on a poker.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:36 am (UTC)I mean what sort of companion can a duck even be?
They dont purr and they dont cuddle.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:44 am (UTC)I'll be testing that theory after dinner.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:46 am (UTC)Do you want a rubber ducky?
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-20 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-20 12:50 am (UTC)I'm being a decent human being and giving it the chance to show me why I should love it like my own.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:50 am (UTC)Okay?
Its your duck.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:53 am (UTC)I promise you'll still be my number one.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:54 am (UTC)Its so tiny!!
Look at its feet. Will it ever grow into those?
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-20 12:57 am (UTC)Hello dirks duck!
Duck of dirk. Dirk ducken.
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Date: 2012-12-20 12:59 am (UTC)Dare you to say that five times in fast succession.
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:04 am (UTC)Wait
Dirks duck dirks dick dirks duck dirks duck dirks DUCK! There!!
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:10 am (UTC)[You refrain from pointing out that he MESSED UP AGAIN. No display of such derpiness should inspire fondness in you, but it's a strange world.]
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:15 am (UTC)Dirks duck.
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:21 am (UTC)You like it.
It's cute.
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:22 am (UTC)And awkward. And i think it likes you a whole lot.
I am inclined to think well of it i guess.
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-20 01:25 am (UTC)Dirks duck dinner duty.
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:27 am (UTC)Any special dessert requests?
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:28 am (UTC)[You poke the duck again. You have to admit that it is PRETTY CUTE.]
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:31 am (UTC)[You begin to throw stuff together for STRIDER STYLE FRIED RICE, extra sticky.]
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Date: 2012-12-20 01:32 am (UTC)You seem like a guy who would have a list.
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Date: 2012-12-20 02:05 am (UTC)I asked in case you wanted anything in particular.
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Date: 2012-12-20 02:22 am (UTC)We must have cookies or something in the cupboard right?
What is the duck going to eat? Watercress?
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Date: 2012-12-20 02:30 am (UTC)Guess we can just see which he goes for.
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Date: 2012-12-20 02:31 am (UTC)